Chapter One

Zaiden Alek Steele was feeling quite numb today. His finger was pressed firmly to his lip as he ambled towards the locker room of the community center. They were all supposed to go there and get changed, then meet their probation officer and begin working. Zaiden was early, as was his usual, hating the feeling of walking into a room full of people he didn’t know and having them notice him. He’d been more or less invisible for most of his life, and so far it had treated him well enough.

One hand shoved into the depths of his pocket, he ventured into the locker room, chewing on one of the fingernails of his other hand. It was almost down to the quick now. He’d change fingers soon, just before it started bleeding. The whole building seemed empty. The echoes of his footsteps were the only noises that reached his ears.

The locker room appeared as empty as the rest of the building, and Zaiden slowed his pace as he made his way inside. He stepped lightly, not expecting anyone to be there, but not wanting to be surprised. In the middle of the room were two rows of lockers, facing each other, with a mirror on one end, and on the other end, where Zaiden stood, was the entrance to the showers. On the bench in between the two rows of lockers were laid four orange jumpsuits.

Zaiden walked over to the suits and inspected them. On top of each was laid a piece of paper with a name written on it. Zaiden read them all before grabbing his and pulling it from the bench. Just then, he heard a shuffle and turned to look at the source of the noise. At the end of the lockers, to the left of mirror, was a small boy, obviously a teenager, but looking much younger than Zaiden himself. He was staring at Zaiden, his hands pressed to his suit as if he had been trying to straighten out the wrinkles, and he looked terrified.

Zaiden kept eye contact for only a second before quickly looking back down the suit in his hands and then turning to walk towards the showers. He’d always avoided changing in front of people in school, and he didn’t plan to start now. It wasn’t so much that he was uncomfortable with his body, though he was, but the fact that he’d discovered early on that the less he gave people to bother him about, the more he’d be left alone.

He slid off his jeans and pulled the jumpsuit up over his boxers, leaving his green t-shirt on under it. He slid his arms into the sleeves, then fiddled with the zipper for a second before finally zipping the front of the suit up to his neck. He stared down at it for a second, then pulled the zipper down slightly and then back up again after a moment of contemplation.

Zaiden inched slowly to the exit of the showers, craning his neck to see if the one boy had moved, or if he was still in the same place, hidden from view. Sure enough, he appeared to be where Zaiden had left him. Stepping the rest of the way into the doorway of the showers, Zaiden looked at himself in the mirror across the room, squinting his eyes in an attempt to see a little better at such a distance.

After a moment of his hands dancing around, in and out of pockets, attempting to find a place that felt safe, he finally crossed his arms and brought his right hand up to his mouth, starting to chew on his thumbnail. His eyes flashed back to the corner of the room. He wondered if, perhaps, he should say hello. For once, maybe, he should be the first person to speak. The risk was there, sure, but the other boy definitely wasn’t going to say anything first, and he didn’t look to be someone that would give Zaiden a hard time.

Zaiden bit down harder on his nail then took a step forward. Just then, the front door to the community center opened, just around the corner from the locker room, and Zaiden turned to stare at the entrance. A set of footsteps made their way towards him and he quickly dropped his hands into his pockets before backing up to lean against the first locker.

“Forgiveness from the Father is what we all seek, but forgiveness from our fellow man is what we need.”

Father James Stravinskis had set a hand on Luke Sterling’s shoulder in the oratory chapel and held it tight. His accent cutting through the silence, his words slow, carefully spoken, his fingers whitened as he squeezed slightly. Luke hadn’t looked up at the priest, but just continued to kneel where he had been kneeling for almost two hours now, his forearms bruised by the back of the pew in front of him, his head bowed, and rosary beads tangled in his delicate hands.

“I’m not praying for forgiveness, I’m praying for Rosa Clarke.” He had replied in a small and almost inaudible voice.

Prayer and fasting weren’t sentences passed by law, service to the community and time were. Time, and lots of it. Luke could do that, at least, he thought he could until Brother Joffre drove him to the front doors of the community center and stopped the car, waiting for him to get out. Deep breaths. He filled his lungs and exhaled, feeling Joffre’s gaze intently on him before he then pushed open the door and stepped out on the sidewalk outside the building.

“You should leave that here.”

Luke hesitated, looking down at the small leather bound Bible in his hands. “What if I need it?”

Brother Joffre’s forehead creased with concern. “What if you lose it?” He paused and leaned forward in his chair a little to better meet Luke’s blue eyes.

As he shakily handed the Bible back into the car he suddenly realized that Joffre wasn’t just talking about losing his Bible at all. The thought left him cold, he already felt naked without it. It had been such a long month, after the hearing, after the paper work, after the hours of apologizing to Rosa Clarke’s family, after all the drug testing…and now, he felt defenseless.

“I don’t do drugs.” He had assured them.

“But you did.”

“But I don’t do them…”

“But you did...”


“You’ll be alright, Luke.” Brother Joffre took the small Bible in his hands and placed it on the seat… it looked tiny there. “I’ll see you tonight.”

Luke said nothing, but nodded a little, his nervous hands pressed, flat-palmed, to his chest, as Joffre gave him a sympathetic look and slowly pulled away from the walk way. He stood there watching the car as it drove further and further, pulling out onto the main road before shakily checking his watch, he was early. Very early. He had arrived yesterday for a walk-through of the process, so he knew where he was going, luckily.

He climbed the stairs and pushed open the doors to the building, winding his way through the empty corridors towards the locker room. He didn’t look like he belonged in a correctional facility, small and genuinely harmless looking, not to mention dressed in a black clerical shirt, pants and shoes, it looked as though he had wandered in by accident, but high and behind the wheel of a car… apparently he was as dangerous as anyone else.

Luke entered the locker room and immediately headed for the orange suites laid against the bench there, finding one with his name on it and picking it up. For a few seconds he just stared at the orange suite in his hands and took a deep breath, his blue eyed gaze raking over the other names and papers before finding himself his mirror by his predetermined locker.

A slim little black clad child of the church… he’d let Father Stravinskis down, he’d let down the man who’d taken him in and given him a home. He swallowed hard and opened his locker and took out a pair of black ankle boots he had placed inside yesterday, sitting down on the benches there and taking off his own shined black leather shoes, placing them inside carefully, removing his belt, then black pants slowly, there was no one here anyway, and he climbed into the orange suite.

It was a little big on him, made him look a smaller than he already was and he had to roll the sleeves once, no, twice, doing the same with the legs. He started to zip it all the way to his neck but the clerical collar got in the way and he had to lower it a few inches, taking his wooden cross which he wore on a leather string around his neck and slipping it down under his shirt instead.

Luke straightened, sweeping his brown hair back from his face and lifting his chin a little, pressing his hands to the jumpsuit trying to flatten the wrinkles down a little. But he froze, and his heart pounded. He caught a movement in the corner of his mirror and he turned his head in time to see a very tall boy enter.

He stayed stalk still not moving, staring at him as he moved to get a jumpsuit from the bench. Luke’s eyes widening considerably when he was noticed, he didn’t actually say anything, his mouth felt dry but before he had a chance to react the other boy turned and headed for the showers.

Luke quickly put everything he needed to in his locker and sat back on a bench, swallowing hard. He really wasn’t ready for this, and he mistakenly didn’t bring his rosary beads…

He waited for a few moments, passing the time by trying to remember a Latin scripture, something, anything to distract him from the room around him, from why he was here. He heard a movement after some time and turned his head to see the tall boy, in the archway between the showers and the locker rooms. He looked away quickly, down at the floor… the other boy looked harmless enough, but they were all here for a reason… most of the youth in this facility probably had committed far worse crimes than he had.

He took to smoothing out the creases in his the rolled up sleeves around his thin wrists and stayed completely silent, but poised nervously so that when the sound of the community center front door echoed down the corridor outside the locker room, Luke startled, like he were about to leap to his feet and run, but he swallowed and forced himself to stay where he was, his hands lowering to grip the bench with an uncomfortable nervousness. He could do this…. He could do this… how tough could these kids be? They couldn’t be THAT bad…….. could they?

Gabe laid her bicycle on the side of the building and zip tied the wheel in place. It wasn't like she actually cared if her bike got stolen it was just a force of habit she acquired while watching others do it at school.
As she walked towards the front of the building she skimmed through the playlist that was bumping in her headphones and pocketed the ipod again. Walking through the halls she ran her nails against the wall and anything else that was within her reach and sang along.
Reaching the locker room she pushed the door open and grinned as she noticed the other two standing there awkwardly.
"What's good?" She drawled out as she slipped the head phones off of her head and down to her neck. She stood beside the jump suits and shimmied out of her pants as she continued to talk. "Oh you two are the quiet ones? That sucks. You'll be eaten alive." Not bothering to even attempt to put the suit on she approached Zaiden. She could tell he was obviously uncomfortable with her lack of clothes as she got closer.
Her height never bothered her. She felt it gave her more power and as she closed in on him she felt invincible. "My name is Gabe. I set things on fire." She touched his face and felt him tense. Laughing she walked over to Luke and smiled as he sat there glancingly making eye contact. Taking off her shirt she spoke to him. "You at least gonna tell me your name pipsqueak?"
Before he could say anything she laughed and turned to pick up her suit and put it on. "I can tell this will just be a waste of my time." Zipping her suit up she placed the headphones back onto her ears and laid down on a bench drumming out the beats with her hands.

The footsteps grew louder until a small, brown-skinned girl with bright, blonde hair entered the room. She pulled off the headphones she was wearing, offering an original greeting of “What’s good?”. In almost no time she had slipped out of her pants and was standing in only her shirt and underwear. Zaiden’s eyes grew slightly larger, though he quickly hid the expression before she could see it.

The girl began to make her way towards him then. Zaiden hadn’t realized just how short she was until just now. He felt like a giant compared to her, and that was saying a lot, considering his height in contrast to everyone anyways. “My name is Gabe,” she told him. “I set things on fire.” Zaiden lifted a curious eyebrow at this, but didn’t respond. She reached up to touch his face then and Zaiden flinched, pulling his face back instinctively.

The girl, Gabe, turned and headed over to the other boy now. Zaiden turned his head, not wanting to stare. “You at least gonna tell me your name pipsqueak?” A second later she let out a laugh, causing Zaiden to turn his sights back on her. She slid her headphones back over her ears and finally put on her suit. Then, making a comment, she put her headphones back on and laid down on the bench in the middle of the room, her head resting on one of the two remaining jumpsuits.

Zaiden had heard the comment she’d made, but it hadn’t really registered. He had been distracted. He’d just remembered leaving his pants in the showers and decided that it probably wasn’t the best place to let them stay. He shuffled back into the showers and grabbed his pants from the floor where they sat in a crumpled pile.

When he returned to the locker room the scene was exactly as it had been before, not surprisingly, as he’d only been gone a few seconds. He opened the locker he’d been leaning against and, first making sure it was empty, shoved his pants inside. He closed it back and leaned up against it again, resuming the destruction of his thumbnail via his teeth.

As the footsteps approached from outside in the hall, Luke braced himself for the worst, but his shoulders dropped with some relief when a small girl rounded the corner and entered the locker room with them. His chin lifting a little, still gripping tightly to the bench, his knuckles going white with pressure as she stepped in and halted by one of the jumpsuits shamelessly starting to slide out of her pants.

His expressive blue eyes widened considerably, for a second or so he stared, and then quite quickly averted his gaze to the locker in front of him. He wanted to say he wasn’t that quiet, he’d even opened his mouth to say this, but nothing actually came out so he shut it.

There was an awkward silence as she approached the taller boy and Luke couldn’t help but give them both another glance, as she introduced herself, his legs instinctively crossed self-consciously and maybe a little protectively, and he tucked his feet under the bench. The other boy didn’t seem to appreciate the touch to his face and Luke didn’t blame him… that was kind of intrusive… at least he thought so.

He swallowed hard when she approached him and took off her shirt, and he looked down into his lap, instantly, avoiding eye contact.

“You at least gonna tell me your name pipsqueak?”

He blushed with a tinge of nervous color but she didn’t wait for a reply and moved on, slipping her headphones back on and leaning back against the bench. He kept his attention in his lap for a few seconds then ventured a look at her, glancing to the other boy to see his reaction, he had gone back to not saying anything, chewing his thumbnail. “it’s luke.” He said in a small voice shakily standing up, turning his back on the other boy and approaching the girl a little, leaning just slightly over so he was in her view.

“it’s Luke.” He said a little louder this time because he wasn’t sure if she could hear him over her headphones. His hands were pressed flat-palmed to his chest again, as if trying to still the rapid beat of his heart. He was scared to death of these kids, he couldn’t hide it. He stayed still for a few seconds and then backed away from her and into a locker, his left hand rising to his mouth, looking quite small there against the lockers, not as small as the girl, but small.
He cast another worried look around the room and then his arm lowered and he hugged his chest.

With an smirk she sat up and pulled her headphones off again. "Luke is it?" She looked at the other boy that kept eating his thumb. "How old are ya?"She pulled gum out of her pocket but not once took her eyes off of the taller one.
He entertained her most. Granted it was just his height she wanted but she couldn't stop staring at his stupid thumb. Hearing Luke start to speak she didn't think twice before cutting him off. "You know that's bad for you right? Chewing on your thumb like some little toddler. You've got to be at least 19. Grow a pair and stop."
He instantly rubbed her the wrong way and she wasn't sure why.
Looking back at Luke she locked eye contact for a second before he looked down again.
"So you can speak up but you're still a scared little cat huh?" She popped her gum before walking closer.
"So whatcha here for? Both of you?" She let the question sit in the air.

So his name was Luke? Of course a child of the church would have a biblical name, Zaiden thought. Sometimes the world was comical. Luke was now talking to Gabe, though she stared at Zaiden even as she replied.

"You know that's bad for you right? Chewing on your thumb like some little toddler. You've got to be at least 19. Grow a pair and stop." Zaiden’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion as Gabe reprimanded him. He slowly pulled his hand away from his mouth and shoved it into his pocket. She turned back to Luke and said something then.

“I’m eighteen…” Zaiden replied, hardly above a mumble. Gabe either didn’t hear him or decided to ignore him because she was already asking another question.

"So whatcha here for? Both of you?" The question hung in the air like a weight. Zaiden could feel it pressing down on his chest. He hadn’t told anyone what he’d done… not that he ever talked to anyone other than his parents and his psychologist. He looked down at his feet as he opened his mouth to speak.

“I uh… I hit someone,” he replied after a second, already able to tell that Gabe responded better to a short answer than to no answer at all. His eyes remained locked on his laces.

When Gabe sat up and pulled her headphones off he startled a little, but it was more like a flinch, rather obvious and timid looking. His delicate hands lifted to push his brown hair back from his face a little. She might as well have shouted at him for the reaction he gave her. When she asked his age he opened his mouth to respond, even started to but the girl rudely cut across him before he had the chance and commented about the other boy’s bad habit. He made a small sound in the back of his throat, his right hand still lingering against his cheek as he averted his eyes. He wouldn’t have put it quite so harshly, but he did agree about the nail chewing…

"So you can speak up but you're still a scared little cat huh?"

He met Gabe’s eyes for a fraction of a second before his gaze lowered to the floor. He felt defenseless again listening as she popped her gum and he winced a little.

“I’m… sixteen… to answer your, previous, question.” He said in such a small hoarse voice it was as though he had to call up his words from some far distance.

"So whatcha here for? Both of you?"

Luke’s blue gaze traveled to the other boy where it lingered for a long while after he confessed to what he did, he looked honestly guilty about it and Luke said nothing. He felt weird stating it here and not to the wired confessional window, not to one of the priests he knew so well, the ones who had raised him to be more decent then to land himself here.

“I’m here to perform community service.” He said dully to the ground… ‘and pray for your souls.’ But he wasn’t about to say that last part aloud. The girl was exceptionally rude, and it wasn’t something he was used to. He was trying not to be judgmental but it was becoming rather difficult. “I don’t think it matters why we are here, or that it should matter to you, specifically.” And he fell quiet.

Gabe instantly turned and looked at Luke wide eyed. Sticking her chin up in the air a little bit she walked up to him. Not even hesitating she pushed his legs apart with hers and walked right inbetween them.
Bringing their face inches apart she stared him down. "Look you little twat I don't care how old you are or why you're here. Don't you ever talk to me like that again." Standing up gave Luke enough courage to look down but that made Gabe even more angry. Grabbing the collar of his jump suit in a tight fist she popped her gum once more.
"Look at me when I'm talking to you and I believe I asked you a question."

]He couldn’t deny that his heart dropped into his stomach as the girl turned and looked at him with that expression on her face, and he visibly paled, his blue eyes not hiding his fear as she approached him, his shoulders stiffened when she pushed his legs apart and walked her body pretty much flush against his. Their faces way too close for comfort. He struggled to avoid eye contact… it’s what he’d done to the ill-tempered dog across the street from the rectory. Maybe it would work on her. This little submissive reaction of his wasn’t appreciated however and he breathed in sharply when she grabbed the collar of his jumpsuit. He really didn’t like this position. He tried to calm his panicking heart, he hadn’t meant to cross her, he lifted his hands in slight surrender.

“I-I-I’m sorry….” He breathed nervously, swallowing. “umm…” he paused thinking. “You postured your obvious need to dominate so incredibly well… that I forgot the question.” He stammered, which he didn’t realize was slightly insulting.

Wake up. Disoriented. Where am I? Oh right, I slept in a playground last night. Mira kicked me out after a fight. Bitch. Sunlight pours in through the holes of the tunnel in the jungle gym. Grab backpack and return Megadeth shirt I was using as a pillow. Smell pits. Holy FUCK they stink. Last shower was three days ago. Probably need one soon. Clothes could stand to be washed too. I've worn each item two days each. Grab bag and head down the slide. Retrieve CD player and CD case. Maiden, LoG, Disturbed, Killswitch, ATR, Cradle, Sum 41. Need to drop by mom's so I can trade out discs. Been listening to the same shit for two weeks now. Pop in The Fall of Ideals. This Calling. I feel the scream rip itself from my throat as I sing along with the intro. Instinctively my fingers attack the invisible strings of the nonexistent guitar in my hands. Left my gear at Zax's. Been a while since I've actually played.

Just as the solo arrives, the music cuts and I hear the dreaded three beeps. Dead batteries. I've been cycling old ones for a while. Need to get more. Look up. Some douchebag is staring at me from beyond the park fence. “The FUCK are you looking at?!” Bitch goes wide-eyed and walks away. “That's right asshole! Mind your own damn business!” Check pockets. $7.38. Time for breakfast.

BP gas station. Old man Maharaj is working. Too easy. Pocket a pack of AA's and head to the snack aisle. Grab a Twix and a can of Sprite. Breakfast of champions. Time to check out. “Ah, morning Fox. How're you doing this fine day? Staying out of trouble?” His accent is horrible, but he knows not to call me by my real name. Alex Gates. I give a fake smile. “You know me Mr. M. You?” He starts babbling on about his family, or some shit. I don't know, I can barely understand him. Rings me up for the snacks. $1.75. Still going on and on. “Uh huh. That's great. Well, have a good one.” I say with more enthusiasm than I mean.

A few minutes later I'm blasting Disturbed. Check my watch. 8:53. Monday already. Should be at community service at nine. Emphasis on should. Wouldn't be the first time I've skipped. Fuck it, getting the batteries put me in a good mood. I'll go today. Start making my way down town. Wonder if Bitchtits McBride is working today. If so I'll probably leave. I can't stand that guy.

Gabe's face scrunched up at the rudeness Luke was showing her. Her fist clenched for a moment before she let go and smiled at him. Leaning in she whispered into his ear. "I asked why are you here." She said each word slowly and in a very small voice as she pressed her body flush against him.
She was able to feel his face heat up and his heart race just from being that close. She stayed there quiet for a moment and when she had counted to twenty and he still hadn't responded she roughly grabbed him around his throat and hissed in his ear. "I will set everything you love on fire." Tightening her grip she looked him in the eyes daring him to make a smart comment back.

Gabe was a little thing… almost 6 inches, give or take, smaller than him… but it didn’t matter. She may have been tiny but the fierce dislike that pulsed in her eyes terrified him, and he shrank against the locker a little, his legs weakening. This was probably as physically close as he’d gotten to almost anyone, her body pressed to his, he could feel the warmth through his jumpsuit, foreign and uncomfortable. His heart was beating against his ribs like a caged bird, and he felt like he might faint.

"I asked why are you here."

He suddenly couldn’t think of any words at all to respond to her with, trying to turn his face away from her, but after several frightened seconds he felt her grip around his throat, squeezing roughly and he made a slight guttural swallowing sound at the sudden pressure. His delicate hands raised to hers to attempt to pull it off of his neck.

"I will set everything you love on fire."

And she sounded like she meant it to… god knows what she was in here for. Luke had a sudden image of the oratory on fire, burning down, down with all those flammable books and oils, the chapel in charcoal ruins… not having a home anymore. It was his world the one thing that mattered.

“Alright… alright…” he breathed in a throttled rather, higher pitched than his usual, voice. He drew a rattling breath through her choke hold. “I… I… was driving intoxicated and I hit a child, a little g-g-girl…” his eyes watered somewhat at the pressure, and he swallowed painfully. “she was only seven…” he slid further down the locker till he was just about eye-level with Gabe.

Gabe was looking at Zaiden after he answered her question. His eyes were still glued to his shoes, but he could see her out of the corner of his vision. He thought she was about to say something when Luke replied to her question himself, in such a way that Zaiden couldn’t quite tell if he was being rude or not.

As if someone had just hit her, Gabe whirled around and flung herself on Luke. Zaiden felt his body tense, but he didn’t move. He didn’t even turn his head to look at the scene. He just listened and made out what he could from the corner of his eye. Eavesdropping was something Zaiden had almost perfected during his thirteen years of public school. He learned to listen, to observe and to study.

Through the several moments of exchanged words between them, it wasn’t until Gabe grabbed Luke by the throat that Zaiden finally moved. His head shot up to look at the scene and his eyes widened. He wanted to do more: more than just watch the scene with fear. He wanted to run over and break it up. To stop either of them from getting hurt, though it seemed like that wouldn’t be much of a problem on Gabe’s end. But he couldn’t. As much as he wished there was something he could do, Zaiden reminded himself that he was doing good to keep himself out of harm’s way.

Besides, he didn’t know Gabe, but he doubted she’d truly hurt him, here of all places, where their parole officer could walk in at any moment. It was, after all, getting closer to the time they were supposed to be ready.

Luke will just have to learn not to make yourself known to a predator when you’re potential prey, Zaiden justified.

Perhaps someone grabbing him by the throat would be what it took to adjust him to life. From what Zaiden had seen of him, he gave the air of a homeschooler. He seemed to lack some social knowledge, and Zaiden had learned the hard way that you either adjust to the way the people in power want you to be, or you reap the consequences.

Luke gave a choked up response after a few seconds and Zaiden relaxed a little. He quickly lowered his head back to where it had been before, hoping neither of them would know that he was paying them any attention, and resumed looking towards the ground. One day… one day he would have the power to help those in need.

Gabe let go of Luke but didn't step back. "So you hurt a kid?" She pushed him back against the locker a little bit more. "Piece of scum. Learn how to do things without hurting kids."
She turned to walk away and glared at him. "I'm pretty sure there's a special place in hell for you."
Not even caring how he'd respond to that she turned to the taller one. "You hit someone? Was it a kid too? Or was it someone our age? If it's some one our age ya cool in my book."
She folded her arms and stood in the middle of the locker room staring him down. She loved the quiet dominance she held over the place.

Gabe finished with Luke and then turned back to Zaiden. He agreed with what she’d said to him last. True, Zaiden didn’t know the story behind what had happened, so he reserved complete judgment until he knew what actually happened, but hurting a child was never okay.

"You hit someone? Was it a kid too? Or was it someone our age? If it's someone our age ya cool in my book." Zaiden looked up at Gabe as she spoke, then back at the floor for a second before finally meeting her eyes for good. He just looked at her for a moment, his bottom lip quivering with an internal struggle to choose his words carefully.

“Someone our age…” he finally replied, simply. His fist tightened inside his pocket without him willing it to do so. He didn’t like thinking back on that night. He didn’t like thinking about that person. He didn’t want to think about it ever again, though he knew he wouldn’t find an escape in the near future.

Luke let out a gasp of air, breathing out sharply when Gabe let go of him, when he didn’t feel her fingers at his throat or her body against his.

"So you hurt a kid?"

He smoothed down the front of his suite, instantly, nervously, and could feel his heart still pounding. She achieved her goal, he was scared of her… unused to her methods of control and dominance. Luke leaned forward from the locker a little trying to straighten himself, to brush himself off, to shake the feeling of her hands on him, then he was pushed back into it again, spine hitting the metal, and he stared down into her face with wide blue eyes.

"Piece of scum. Learn how to do things without hurting kids."

As if he didn’t already feel terrible about it… he could still see the little Latina girl wrapped up in the hospital bed her leg and arm and part of her face in bandages, bruised and scraped up… and oh he had practically sobbed at her bedside, holding her small hand in his, begging for forgiveness from her parents practically on his knees.

He never intended to hurt a child, he had loved Rosa, he had helped teach her Bible school at Saint Francis church on Sunday mornings, she was the last person in the world he had ever wanted to hurt… and he didn’t even remember doing it, he remembered discomfort, partial words, a hold on his wrists, chairs, wood, weight, fighting, climbing in the car, the top of the driveway, and the blur of a traffic light before he had woken up with a concussion and sprained wrist.

"I'm pretty sure there's a special place in hell for you."

How could he argue with that? No matter how this girl had sinned in her lifetime she was probably right. Luke stayed pressed to the lockers still shaking with panic from her choke hold, his hands trembling a little when Gabe turned to address the quiet boy. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, exhaling when the taller boy responded after a few long seconds.

She smiled at the boy. "Awesome. Props to ya." She sat down and started chewing on her gum again. She liked how easy it was to take control over the room and felt empowered. Putting her feet up on the bench she kept her eyes on the tall one when it dawned on her that there was only 3 of them.
Looking down at her watch she looked around the locker room.
"Isn't there supposed to be others?"

Luke was still taking a deep breath, up against the locker before he pulled away from it, turned on the spot and took a careful perching seat on the edge of the bench a good long space away from Gabe. His shoulders stiffened again and a muscle tensed in his jaw, his brown hair obscuring one of his pale blue eyes and part of his pretty, almost androgynous face.

"Isn't there supposed to be others?"

He cast a side-long glance at her. “… I would consider it a blessing if there weren’t.” he said his voice still just slightly unsteady as he fiddle with the clerical collar of his shirt beneath his suite. He took another long breath and turned to give her a piercing look. “I suppose we aren’t allowed to ask why you are here? Or do I even want to know…” his gaze shifted off towards the lockers as if there was something interesting there that could hold his attention.

Her face brightened instantly at the question. The thing almost as rewarding as dominating others was talking about herself in situations. "I steal cars and set them on fire when I'm done with them." She said in a cheery sing-song voice.
"Toyotas, BMW, Saabs, Fords." She counted on her fingers for a brief moment. "4 trucks. Trucks are my favorite. They burn longest."
She looked at Luke with a Chesire-eqsue grin. "And I have a bad habit of super glueing things. They call it littering. That's why I'm here this time."

He stayed looking away as she responded then slowly turned his attention back, giving her a look that clearly suggested that he thought she was completely certifiable. He observed her body language, the way she had perked up at the chance to detail her crimes. If he wasn’t mistaken she actually seemed to have enjoyed it, destroying things. How violent.

He received a clear image of the oratory burning again and he almost shivered. He would have to remember to pray for her poor decrepit soul later on in the chapel. Which was a sad testament to how lost these kids were… how lost he was.

“So… basically you like to destroy things other people have made?” he fell silent for a few seconds. “Vandalism. You know you can easily destroy just about anything, but you can’t easily make it. You should think about giving something back sometime instead of always taking.”

She crawled on the bench until she was closer to Luke. "Ya think ya have me all figured out don't you?" She licked her lips and looked him up and down. "For your information I do give something back; the best blow job a guy will ever experience."
She winked and sat back down normally. "I think that's good enough. Giving good head isn't easy ya know?" Laughing to herself she shook her head.
"Oh that's right Church-y, ya wouldn't know."

Luke’s blue gaze snapped to her when she moved, when she crawled on the bench towards him and his heart dropped to the pit of his stomach again, fluttered oddly, in that unsettling sick way that made him want to pass out.

"Ya think ya have me all figured out don't you?"

He shook his head rather furiously, leaning away from her on the bench, she had a way of talking and moving that was unsettling, it reminded him of a cat prowling pray, the way her body stayed loose but her movements were so deliberate… it didn’t help that she licked her lips and he felt the urge to faint from dizziness.

"For your information I do give something back; the best blow job a guy will ever experience."
He’d heard the kids on the streets and settled them in confirmation class enough to know what she was talking about, enough for him to cross his legs a little, self consciously… swallowing as she winked and sat back down in a more casual position.

"I think that's good enough. Giving good head isn't easy ya know? Oh that's right Church-y, ya wouldn't know."

Luke blushed, and put his hands squarely in his lap. Sodomy… how appealing. He had to mark her down for a lot of Hail Mary’s later. “My religion doesn’t allow seminarians to have relations in that manner or any matter. But I am not completely ignorant… of the terminology.” His pale face was still flushed with color. He wasn’t having this conversation… oh god.

“My religion doesn’t allow seminarians to have relations in that manner or any matter. But I am not completely ignorant… of the terminology.”
"Terminology?" She was having way too much fun with Luke. Turning she turned to stare him down again. She wasn't oblivious to the fact that he was trying to hide his crotch. "Ya know the best way to learn is through action right?" Her smirk grew when he turned a brighter color. "So how would you like to learn? Girls?" She studied his face and got no reaction.
"Boys do it for ya then?" His eyes grew wide for a split second but just long enough to give Gabe her answer. "Well look at that Church-y here likes boys!" She laughed.
"What is it about them? The manliness you lack? Or maybe you just like the thought of taking a cock?" There was nothing that could keep her from having fun anymore. Her day had been permanently made.

"Ya know the best way to learn is through action right?"

He looked away forcefully at the locker across from him, his jaw clinching, his body tensing uncomfortably, his cheeks still tinged with vibrant color, he’d never had any such conversation in his life… he felt like he’d been completely violated, well at least his composition had.

"So how would you like to learn? Girls?"

He looked back at her, blinking once. He’d fought with himself for so long about it, got down on his knees and prayed for intervention, for his heart not to flutter when Brother Keith entered the chapel or offered Luke the smallest nods of approval. He’d pray that he wouldn’t feel weak around him. He prayed to demolish the elation that flooded through him when he thought of the older man visiting to stay. Luke always stayed close, liked to watch him study, read, stroke the gray tabby cat. Unable to deny the way his skin burned when the other brother would shake his hand after a long vacation. Even though the boy never acted on his feelings, never even imagined doing so, his crush flooded his heart with the desire to be loved by the older man, to be held tightly, to be touched. Luke was going to hell… God hated him. He knew it.

"Boys do it for ya then?"

His blue eyes widened before he could stop them, before he could keep the look of embarrassment off his face.

"Well look at that Church-y here likes boys!"

Her laughter dug into him and left him shaky with shame. He tried to shake his head but it’s like his neck refused to move, he was mortified.

"What is it about them? The manliness you lack? Or maybe you just like the thought of taking a cock?"

As if he couldn’t get any redder, he bit his trembling lip. He wanted to sink into the floor, he wanted it to open up and swallow him whole so he didn’t have to exist anymore… her amusement scathed him. Her language and imagery made him feel sick. He opened his mouth and then closed it…

“Stop it…” Luke’s voice was hoarse with humiliation. “I don't want to learn anything... That’s not true…” he said weakly, not very convincingly.